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		<title>&#8220;I speak of the things that are there.&#8221;</title>
		<link>https://lucidcontent.com/2020/01/23/i-speak-of-the-things-that-are-there/</link>
					<comments>https://lucidcontent.com/2020/01/23/i-speak-of-the-things-that-are-there/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Richard]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Jan 2020 14:36:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to Write Better]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Storytelling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing and Photography]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.lucidcontent.com/?p=10415</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Last year my tribe published this book on writing: Dark Angels On Writing from Unbound in London. I thought I&#8217;d post the piece I wrote for the book. Just in case there are a couple of people in the world who have not yet bought the book. &#160; What does it mean for a writer [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2020/01/23/i-speak-of-the-things-that-are-there/">&#8220;I speak of the things that are there.&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last year <a href="https://www.dark-angels.org.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">my tribe</a> published this book on writing: <em>Dark Angels On Writing</em> from Unbound in London. I thought I&#8217;d post the piece I wrote for the book. Just in case there are a couple of people in the world who have not yet bought the book.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-9733" src="https://www.fivecoolthingsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/DA-Writing.png" alt="" width="217" height="344" /></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4>What does it mean for a writer to pay attention?</h4>
<p><em>“…if you love something enough and pay a passionate enough attention to it, the whole world can become present in it.”</em></p>
<p>~ John Jeremiah Sullivan</p>
<p><em>by</em> Richard Pelletier</p>
<p>[dropcap]H[/dropcap]ere in my writing shed, under a starry night and an almost full moon, on the southern tip of this magical island in Puget Sound where I live, I imagine rummaging through a junk drawer. Amidst the rubber bands and the old paper clips, I am looking for a commemorative 1955 silver dollar that exists only in my dreams—heads on both sides. On one—the profile of the writer James Baldwin. I flip the coin. There is the curly-headed pate of my hero, the photographer Robert Frank. <em>My</em> America.</p>
<p>There was something on the wind in that year of 1955. Those two men, one black, one white, <em>knew</em>. Both were artists, both living in New York City. From the Village, came Baldwin with <em>Notes of a Native Son</em>. “The people who think of themselves as white,” he wrote, “have the choice of becoming human or irrelevant. Or, as they are indeed already, in all but actual fact, obsolete.” That same year, Frank, Swiss-born, celebrated here and in Europe, set out on a series of road trips in his 1950 Ford Business Coupe (Detroit, Savannah, Miami, New Orleans, Houston, Los Angeles) to document America in a book. The time was ripe.</p>
<p>The show-stopping cover of Frank’s book, <em>The Americans</em>, might well have flown straight out of James Baldwin’s tightly coiled rage. Five passengers sit perfectly and eternally framed in front-to-back order on a New Orleans streetcar. A white man, a white woman. A little white boy in a little white-boy suit. (Already impressive at white entitlement.) A little white girl, crying. A black man. A black woman. In a single photograph—a supremely complicated one-hundred and seventy-nine-year story. <em>The Americans</em> was a brutally honest chronicle. <em>Look</em>, it said. Open your eyes. <em>Feel</em>. It was the book that changed photography for all time.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-9734" src="https://www.fivecoolthingsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/robert-frank-the-americans-Dark-Angels-book.jpg" alt="" width="650" height="574" /></p>
<p><strong>Miner, shaman, brother, thief </strong></p>
<p>[dropcap]W[/dropcap]hy is this piece of writing about writing concerning itself with the double helix that is James and Robert? My brief is to talk about writing from the perspective of being a photographer. And, it’s because good writing always concerns itself with seeing. And seeing is what James Baldwin and Robert Frank did better than almost anyone else. Each man came to it in different ways. Baldwin’s gaze was unforgiving; ethical, moral and penetrating. Loving. It was psychological, spiritual, cultural, and personal. He was sort of an apostle of humanism. Frank’s seeing was psychic surveillance. Cunning and skeptical. Exploitative. Also loving. He was a miner and a shaman, a brother and a thief. What writer wouldn’t want to be all that?</p>
<p>There is no evidence that Baldwin and Frank knew or influenced each other. But they were working the same dark alleys—the twisted knot of American identity. “Our dehumanization of the negro then,” wrote Baldwin, “is indivisible from our dehumanization of ourselves. The loss of our own identity is the price we pay for our annulment of his.” I pause for a quick daydream where I see Banksy, under cover of darkness, spray painting those words on the side of Robert Frank’s New Orleans streetcar.</p>
<p>Frank showed us something we hadn’t seen before. America as a dangerous, nervous, deeply weird, beautiful and lonely place. Everything in conflict with everything else. Not the least of which was the story we were telling ourselves about who and what we were. (This was 1955, remember.) He tunneled down much further than was comfortable. His coda to fellow artists who might be paying attention to his work (and there were legions) was: <em>go deeper</em>. That is the single best piece of advice a writer could ever hope to hear.</p>
<p>I came to Baldwin much later. Born poor, black, and bi-sexual in Harlem, he told Life Magazine:</p>
<blockquote><p>“An artist is a sort of emotional or spiritual historian. His role is to make you realize the doom and glory of knowing who you are and what you are. He has to tell, because nobody else can tell, what it is like to be alive.”</p></blockquote>
<p>It’s gray outside this morning—the sun is a half-lit, milky stain as it slides behind a bank of Douglas Fir outside my window. I am back at it, trying to stare down this dastardly task: to say something useful about writing and photography. So it occurs to me to talk about love. To say love is at the heart of all this. First, James Baldwin and Robert Frank both have said they loved America. Their love was complicated, but they were writing and shooting from<em> that place</em>. I loved—<em>and still love</em>—those Robert Frank pictures. They changed me from the inside out. I love them madly. I have never been the same since the moment I saw them. That body of work held me upside down and shook me until finally, I came to understand their code.</p>
<blockquote><p>It is possible to make something beautiful and lasting and soul-shaking from the place where <em>you</em>—your heart and soul, your voice, your shame, your fear, your oddball ways—meet the world.</p></blockquote>
<p>That changed everything. When you know something like that, down to the bone, all kinds of wonderful trouble is yours. Because now you believe. You believe in the premise at the root of all art making. Most worrisome of all, you now believe that you—yes, you aspiring writer, painter, poet, musician, sculptor, playwright, might wear the hat, too. To coin a phrase, you are fucked. Which is glorious.</p>
<p><strong>A secret at the bottom of a frozen lake</strong></p>
<p>All this inconveniently dovetailed with my beloved, fiercely believing mother’s favorite Life Lesson: ‘You can be anything you want to be, as long as you want it bad enough.’ I confess that I thought I wanted to be Robert Frank. But underneath it all chained up and locked down like Houdini, buried six feet into the bottom of a frozen lake, was my secret. I only ever wanted to be a writer. Too dangerous, so I spent years taking pictures, and I still do. But it has taken me until this moment, on this gray, overcast November morning to unlock a mystery. Robert Frank, photographer, was my first writing teacher. His courage gave me mine.</p>
<p><strong>‘I worked myself into a state of grace.’ – Robert Frank</strong></p>
<p>[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he lessons that Robert Frank has brought to my writing life are endless and ongoing. Pay attention. Go to those places—physical and emotional—that aren’t safe or comfortable and <em>look</em>. More important, <em>feel</em>. Bring your <em>whole</em> self. Believe what you see, but stay skeptical. Get ahold of it and report back. There are stories everywhere. An empty highway at twilight. The glowing jukebox in a dive bar. An empty café with Oral Roberts on the television. The cowboy on a Manhattan street. Gas tanks, post offices, backyards. Shift the background to the foreground. Break the rules. Do it your own way. Aim higher. And higher still. Get angry. The shadows are more interesting than the light, except for when a crushing daylight is the story. Keep your ear to the ground. Leave some work for the viewer or the reader to do. Find new ways to tell the story. When it comes time to edit, go deeper. Find the most ruthless, merciless, and intuitive version of yourself and go to work. Robert Frank took 27,000 photographs for <em>The Americans</em>. His book is just eighty-three pictures. It was during a year-long, deliberate editing and sequencing process, where the form and the idea and the structure became the thing that we know today. About the entire project, Robert Frank said, “I worked myself into a state of grace.”</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-10430" src="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Schjeldahl-frank1-1-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="664" srcset="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Schjeldahl-frank1-1-scaled.jpg 1024w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Schjeldahl-frank1-1-300x195.jpg 300w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Schjeldahl-frank1-1-768x498.jpg 768w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Schjeldahl-frank1-1-1536x996.jpg 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #999999;"><span class="caption__text">“Parade—Hoboken, New Jersey,” from “The Americans,” 1955.</span><span class="caption__credit">Photograph by © Robert Frank / Courtesy Pace/MacGill</span></span></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-10431" src="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/schjeldahl-frank4-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="678" srcset="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/schjeldahl-frank4-scaled.jpg 1024w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/schjeldahl-frank4-300x199.jpg 300w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/schjeldahl-frank4-768x509.jpg 768w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/schjeldahl-frank4-1536x1018.jpg 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: #999999;"><span class="caption__text">“View from hotel window—Butte, Montana,” from “The Americans,” 1956.</span><span class="caption__credit">Photograph by © Robert Frank / Courtesy Pace/MacGill</span></span></p>
<p><strong>“We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” – Joan Didion<br />
</strong><br />
I was sixteen or seventeen at the time. My grandfather lived across the street from us. I would visit on a fairly regular basis—to bring over meals my mother had cooked, or just to check in. On one particular day, I gave a soft knock on his door, and let myself in. His apartment had that old-world, grandparent charm; a lot of wood and carpeting, built-in glass and wood cabinets. Dark and quiet. He was all alone those days, my grandmother had died some years before. His TV-watching chair was empty, the television was off. But he was there all right, in the room, seated at a card table. The table was crammed—set for six people. Plates, glassware, silverware, everything you’d need if everyone came to dinner. Everyone being himself, his wife, and his four children. But he was alone. Except that he wasn’t, not quite. On each of five plates, he’d placed a framed photograph. I scanned the table. There was my father, my two uncles, my aunt, and my grandmother. Everyone had come to dinner. My grandfather was in conversation with all of them. He turned to me—an actor breaking the fourth wall—and whispered that they’d all come, finally, and wasn’t it wonderful. He turned back to the play. He was wearing two pairs of pants—he’d nap during the day, wake up confused, and get dressed again. I willingly accepted the fiction—and the truth—of all that was in front of me. I may have become a photographer that day. Or, a storyteller. Or, a human being. Joan Didion was right.</p>
<p><strong>A state of grace</strong></p>
<p>Nothing prepares you for writing quite like being a photographer in the days of film. You’d find yourself out in the world—say, Chinatown in New York, or on the coast of California. Endless possibilities for making pictures. Your camera is loaded with Kodak Tri-X film, thirty-six frames. You’re in a bit of a zone, the light is beautiful, and you’re working. Two weeks later, after you’ve developed your fifteen rolls from that day, you have printed your contact sheets, and you find there is nothing. Five-hundred plus images and not a single image that is more than a humble, pleasing record or a dumb cliché. You will try to convince yourself otherwise. You will lie to yourself, possibly for weeks. Maybe this frame, maybe that one. But it’s all useless, there’s nothing there. There is no better training for the excruciating experience of writing first drafts.</p>
<p>So something happened in the relentless effort. In the absurd amount of failure. In the commitment to trying—and the occasional succeeding—that laid the groundwork for a step into the void. My wife and I spent the first two years of our life together on opposite coasts. We spent hours and hours on the phone. She knew me as a photographer. One night I said, “I’m going to say something to you now, and I ask that you say absolutely nothing after I say it.” “Okay,” she said.<br />
I said, “I want to write.”</p>
<p>[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he sun has returned to its milky, half-hidden ways. It’s cold outside. The wind is up. The stand of fir out past my window is telling its proud, steadfast, multi-generational tale. Later this afternoon, Linda and I will travel to the north end of the island to visit a sawmill. On that hour-long ride—through stands of fir and cedar and small towns, I’ll be thinking about a photograph I saw the other day. It’s Robert Frank, 93 years old, sitting out in front of his home in New York City. The backdrop is gritty. A green metal door, a brick section of wall, a green metal screen. The paint on the door frame is chipped and worn. And there he sits, a little hunched over. Still has his hair. He’s an old man looking straight into the camera, a father who has outlived his two children, who both died tragically. His cane is at hand. I imagine James Baldwin sitting right next to him, the other side of the coin. If he were still here, he’d be 93 too. I imagine the two of them, finally having met, after all these years of crossing paths, comparing notes. If I were there, I’d be at a loss for words. What to say to the two storytellers who saw America, who told us everything. Who spoke of the things that were there, who told us of the doom and the glory of who we are. Who left us their songs to sing.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>* From Robert Frank’s Guggenheim Grant application. “I speak of the things that are there, anywhere and everywhere—easily found, not easily selected and interpreted.”</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Robert Frank died on September 9, 2019. Rest in peace, Robert Frank.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2020/01/23/i-speak-of-the-things-that-are-there/">&#8220;I speak of the things that are there.&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Blogging Storynomics 5</title>
		<link>https://lucidcontent.com/2018/05/23/blogging-storynomics-5/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Richard]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 May 2018 10:41:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business Communications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business Writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freelance Copywriter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Write Better]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Storynomics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Storytelling]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lucidcontent.com/?p=9204</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>[dropcap]W[/dropcap]elcome to post 5 in an ongoing, and totally fascinating (if I say so myself) exploration of Robert McKee&#8217;s new book, Storynomics: Story-Driven Marketing in a Post-Advertising World. In our last post we, I, excerpted McKee on the difference between narrative and story. Narrative is the guy at the bar, the friend at the cafe, who [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2018/05/23/blogging-storynomics-5/">Blogging Storynomics 5</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-8729" src="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pisarro-copy.jpg" alt="" width="1600" height="1280" srcset="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pisarro-copy.jpg 1600w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pisarro-copy-300x240.jpg 300w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pisarro-copy-768x614.jpg 768w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pisarro-copy-1024x819.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px" />[dropcap]W[/dropcap]elcome to post 5 in an ongoing, and totally fascinating (if I say so myself) exploration of Robert McKee&#8217;s new book, Storynomics: Story-Driven Marketing in a Post-Advertising World. In our last post we, I, excerpted McKee on the difference between narrative and story. Narrative is the guy at the bar, the friend at the cafe, who drones on and on and on in a numbing recitation of all the stuff that happened when he went to Vegas or wherever. We&#8217;ve all been there.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m going to change things up a little in these posts, by adding in some work by the great John Yorke, who wrote a very, very good book, <em>Into the Woods: A Five-Act Journey Into Story</em>. Here&#8217;s McKee and Yorke on story.</p>
<p><strong>But what is a story? </strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Excerpt From McKee: </em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The essential core in all stories ever told in the history of humankind can be expressed in just three words: conflict changes life. Therefore, the prime definition becomes: a dynamic escalation of conflict-driven events that cause meaningful change in a character&#8217;s life.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Excerpt from Yorke:</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Storytelling, then, is born from your need to order everything outside ourselves. A story is like a magnet dragged through randomness, pulling the chaos of things into some kind of shape and &#8211; if we&#8217;re lucky &#8211; some kind of sense. Every tale is an attempt to lasso a terrifying reality, tame it and bring it to heel.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>[dropcap]T[/dropcap]his section of McKee&#8217;s book gets pretty deep into the weeds and I&#8217;m not going dwell here too terribly long. But for the purposes of shedding some light on his thinking, here it is. Personally, I find all this a bit much, slicing the apple to death. But it&#8217;s worth looking at what McKee says about &#8216;meaning&#8217; as he concluded this section. See below.</p>
<blockquote><p>THE EIGHT STAGES OF STORY DESIGN</p>
<p>Stage One: The Target Audience<br />
Stage Two: Subject Matter<br />
Stage Three: The Inciting Incident<br />
Stage Four: The Object of Desire<br />
Stage Five: The First Action<br />
Stage Six: The First Reaction<br />
Stage Seven: The Crisis Choice<br />
Stage Eight: Climactic Reaction</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Excerpt from McKee:</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The eight stages of storytelling create meaning in this way: First, at the core of all stories pulses at least one binary value&#8211;such as life/death, freedom/tyranny, success/failure, truth/lie, love/hate and the like. Second, the dynamic of cause and effect within the story&#8217;s events expresses the how&#8217;s and why&#8217;s, the &#8216;because&#8217; of change. Examples: Indiana Jones lives to fight another day &#8216;because&#8217; under pressure, he is courageous, cool and smart; Winston Smith submits to tyranny &#8216;because&#8217; he is vulnerable to the cruelty of Big Brother; the A&#8217;s win the pennant and Bill Beane saves his career &#8216;because&#8217; he never loses faith in his judgement. The clear, simple statement of value plus cause expresses a story&#8217;s meaning in one sentence.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I&#8217;m currently involved in a fascinating writing project with 100 writers. One of the things that&#8217;s popped up is someone&#8217;s fascination with the facts of a certain person&#8217;s story. I argued that it was less the facts that were compelling but what the facts<em> signified</em>, what they <em>revealed</em> about character and inner life. I think that&#8217;s what McKee is saying. The fact that Indiana Jones lives to fight another day is sort of interesting, but the real story is beneath that. He lives to fight another day &#8216;because&#8217; of who he is, what&#8217;s he&#8217;s made of, his courage.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2018/05/23/blogging-storynomics-5/">Blogging Storynomics 5</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>The low spark of low-heeled boys</title>
		<link>https://lucidcontent.com/2018/04/15/the-low-spark-of-low-heeled-boys/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Richard]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Apr 2018 00:46:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Branding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Copywriter Portfolio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freelance Copywriter]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Seattle Freelance Copywriter]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Website Copywriting]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.lucidcontent.com/?p=9025</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>[dropcap]I[/dropcap] woke up in the Emergency Room. St. Anne’s Hospital. Where I was born. My mother and my sister were in the room. I still remember the nurse. “Is he a user?” I’d passed out and fell backward onto the sidewalk and hit my head full on. As I lay there, writhing and convulsing, my [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2018/04/15/the-low-spark-of-low-heeled-boys/">The low spark of low-heeled boys</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[dropcap]I[/dropcap] woke up in the Emergency Room. St. Anne’s Hospital. Where I was born. My mother and my sister were in the room. I still remember the nurse. “Is he a user?” I’d passed out and fell backward onto the sidewalk and hit my head full on. As I lay there, writhing and convulsing, my girlfriend called an ambulance.</p>
<p>I had a bit of a secret. Poorly kept. The situation was delicate, touch and go. I conjure up an image of my teenage self sprawled out on a lawn, at some outdoor concert, half conscious. Don’t know what this bird flew into, but shit don’t look good. The world was spinning faster and faster. Try and keep up. High-school in New England. A mean, beat down, beaten up, mill town south of Boston. Cramped tenements. Chain link fences. Small bore gangs of Irish, Poles, Portuguese. A lost American city. Lost American boys.</p>
<p>Croke was tall, lanky, dispirited. A lad in a brown leather jacket and jeans, with shoulder length, dirty blond hair. I can’t remember Croke being much of a threat to anyone but himself. Croke loomed large at school and on the street. Mainly because he had a monster heroin habit. More than once, I saw Croke being dragged down the hall, his arms around the shoulders of two burly teachers, his feet dragging behind him. Eyes rolling around in his head. They struggled to get him out of the building, down the stairs and stuffed into a cab. Next day they would do it all again.</p>
<p class="graf graf--p">Dope was easy to get. Like buying a bag of chips. Like whistling at a pretty girl. Dope was <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">language. Fuck you, </em>it said. The men’s bathroom in high-school was part of the franchise. Mom’s sandwich baggies filled with Tuinal, Seconal, Quaaludes, heroin, speed. The cost was low — lunch money low. You could get anything you wanted at Tadeusz Kosciuszko Square five minutes from my house. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">The Square.</em> At the Square, you could buy your way into your own imprisonment beneath a statue of a Polish hero of the War of Independence. The irony was lost on us. We weren’t interested in independence. Ours was a more noble conflict — obliterate the self. That stealth army spreading a miracle of warmth across your tender groin, courtesy of Adolph von Baeyer, inventor of the barbituate. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">Just take me out, Adolph</em>. Across from the Square was Joe Gow’s, where you could get a greasy chow mein sandwich in wax paper and a coke for two-fifty, when you resurfaced and got hungry.</p>
<p class="graf graf--p">Killer Cabral. I don’t know if Killer had killed anyone when I knew him, but the chances are good, or got around to it in due time. I have one memory of Killer. I’ve got my mother’s car for the night. I’m seventeen. Killer is in the back seat — this is an eight-cylinder Oldsmobile Cutlass, maroon. A<em class="markup--em markup--p-em"> machine</em>. I’ve disconnected the odometer. Killer is small. In a black leather jacket. His street rep is fearsome. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">Killer Cabral is in my car</em>. He’s cooking junk in a spoon. He’s got his works out. Rolls up a sleeve. Ties off, finds a vein. Pushes the needle in. Tilts his head back for a second, eyes closing&#8230; <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">Come to daddy.…that’s it</em>. Then, Killer is out. Into the night. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">Hey, Killer Cabral was in my car </em>last night. <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">No way. Way.</em></p>
<p class="graf graf--p">For a while, my best friend was Fat Larsch. Toothpick thin. Stringy blond hair. We were tight for three years. Concerts, camping, ski trips, open-faced turkey sandwiches and mashed potatoes at the counter at Rockland Diner. Quarts of Bud. All the shit that kids do. Add weed, downers, and the occasional speed. I never once set foot inside his house. Some kind of weird trouble was going down in that darkened third-floor apartment. Finally, Fat Larsch went for the needle. He died of an overdose. By then, he’d become a respiratory technician at the local hospital. St. Anne’s. I never went to the funeral. I never went for the needle. That was a line I wouldn’t cross.</p>
<p class="graf graf--p">I woke up in the Emergency Room. Tied it off. All the people who were part of the old world, over. I passed them on the street. I did not meet their eyes. I did not speak. No hellos, no <em class="markup--em markup--p-em">how you doing</em>. I don’t see you.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-9026" src="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_2168.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="768" srcset="https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_2168.jpg 1024w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_2168-300x225.jpg 300w, https://lucidcontent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/IMG_2168-768x576.jpg 768w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" />{ photograph by richard pelletier }</p>
<p class="graf graf--p">This low-heeled boy had a dream — a wanting. It was so bonkers, so outlandish, and freakish, and buried so deep, it would take over four decades to dig it out. Wanted that mother so hard, had to wrap that fragile thing in blankets and shame and lies and foolish loves and silence.</p>
<p class="graf graf--p">Touch and go.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://lucidcontent.com/2018/04/15/the-low-spark-of-low-heeled-boys/">The low spark of low-heeled boys</a> appeared first on <a href="https://lucidcontent.com">Lucid Content. Writing for Humans.</a>.</p>
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